Alleged Allium Assault!

Ah, anger. Some alternative health types run screaming whenever it appears, as if it were a rabid Opossum. Lusty thoughts, fiery loins and body odors strike fear into the hearts of Graham-cracker-eating, self-flagellating raw prune eaters. And then they spread their fear-based rhetoric all over the internet….

“Garlic is a poison.”

“Onions are toxic.”

“Leeks induce anger.”

“Scallions are a direct line to masturbation.”

“One must ensure that all of one’s senses, including taste, are controlled and kept pure-in order for the mind to be kept pure.”

“Being in a malodorous state in the presence of the Lord is a sign of disrespect.”

“Garlic kills cells”

“It penetrates the body and putrefies the blood”…and it “desynchronizes the brain!”

We are still being encouraged to eat bland foods and sit quietly on a pillow to suppress our carnal urges,  and to eat corn flakes in a cold bath to avoid self-abuse.

OK, enough of this crap. First of all, you are an animal. Surprise. You have a body. Stop trying to escape it. Maybe you are not a pure Lotus flower, Maybe you are a horny Tiger, and maybe that is OKAY.

Hey, baby, do you come here often?
Hey, baby, do you come here often?

Where does this rhetoric come from? Maybe this constant fear of having an odor is part of what makes us angry? Maybe the focus on Latin and Italian stereotypes as loud and lusty is racist, classist and rife with fears of the other? Maybe our valid feelings being compared to demonic possession is pissing us the F off? Maybe this endless focus on “purity” and “pollution” is enough to drive us into a fit of rage?

And what is up with constant Angrophobia anyway? Expressed anger has a role to fill in our culture. REpresed anger leads to weirdness…and that is all we are doing here, people, with this avoiding and fear-mongering. Attempting to repress people’s valid feelings of anger.

Anger and lust can be exciting, invigorating, moving, interesting, real, validating, normal reactions to the input of the world.

And what really causes anger? Is it REALLY onions? Or is it maybe the reality of navigating a culture which does not believe in justice for everyone? Is it perhaps living in a world that is out of balance, which blocks us, suppresses us, cuts us off from nature and presents us with state-sponsored violence and a military-industrial complex that chews us up and spits us out. Sexism, racism, inequality, colonialism, polluted air and water, inaccessibility of needed care…..

And what actually helps us to move and process anger? Having an outlet. Being heard, being able to influence the world around you and having a mission in life.  Being able to help others. Physical movement, access to education, justice, freedom.


When we substitute a straw-man like alliums for a deeper understanding of reality we do not help anyone or anything. When we cower in fear of expressed anger, in fear of lust and bodies and ecstasy and longing and the complex, sometimes messy reality of life in a human animal’s body, pushing people to avoid the fire which exists inside of them due to fear and disgust…we do not resolve the feelings of anger and lust that come up.

Anger and lust are normal emotions that are only a problem when they are not expressed safely, and constant messages that  purity and perfection are the only way forward are counterproductive bullshit that clouds potential human growth and healing.

And really, maybe it is exposure to the obnoxious, clearly angry internet posts arguing about whether or not garlic is the cause of anger, putrefaction and addiction that is the true cause of anger….

3 thoughts on “Alleged Allium Assault!

  1. garlic and onion: i reek of them as we eat them in *everything* cooked and it shows in how i smell . ..i’m used to it, my family and i we all smell garlicy-oniony . ..but not everybody is used to such smells nor does everyone like it . . ..years back after i had my second baby i thought i’d try out a half hour of fitness at a local place to shed extra weight . . .it began innocently enough, noses to the air subtle sniffs searching for the source of that odd *smell* in the otherwise aerosol/anti perspiranty fitness space until one day the source was tracked down and pinned to: yours truly!! . . .. . . after which the spaces within 4 feet of me went uninhabited and unused and the ladies literally held their breath as they passed by, and one fine day the owner/manager asked me to have a chat in private about hygiene as she’d gotten complaints about how i smell like *kitcheny you know, like an indian restaurant or something . . . .did i have religious dietary habits perhaps? there was free deodorant in the ladies room* etc. . . . . didn’t make me angry though, just sort of made me laugh and feel sad at the same time, that fitness and body mass index aside *health* wasn’t the whole point of my sisters foray into crunchy lunges and twists but was pretty simply limited to an external look in an antiseptic odorless way where even in *sweat* there was no obvious presence of toxins being purged via scent or anything visceral . . . .anyway, garlic and onion, salut and bon appetit, we love you and the memories you evoke 🙂

  2. The fear of smelling like anything but a fake-ass “flower” or “spring breeze” and the judgement of those who rebel is one of my biggest problems with or culture! It is delusional in the extreme.

  3. on a delusionally fragrant theme: my son and mate were hiking/camping on the Appalachian Trail this summer, and at some point they sat around for a bit, chatting when they smelled an odd smell and then a park ranger (Blue Ridge Parkway ranger) appeared and started talking with them about hiking/fire safety/bears/no picking flowers/etc. pointing out a sign that said Leave No Trace and asked if they had seen it? Mate had not but son had and points out that the *smell* she’s wearing sure leaves more than a trace behind as they could smell her coming and would certainly be able to smell her going too!! . . . .. oh this was only DEET she confided to them, to keep the bugs and ticks at bay . . . . spray spray spray does more than just keep things at bay . . . . was so at odds with leave no trace as far as our perception goes . . . . extreme orange crush delusions but the positive thing is that coming from a ten year old this observation must have been non-threatening/challenging to the ranger as she had a discussion with him about it that seemed to have had a light bulb effect on her; kids are miracle workers sometimes connecting in ways that open doors witch i personally may have been unable to get through so painlessly!! too much allium in the blood or something 😉

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