i am a huge mullein fan. i love the biennial in every phase, i lvoe how it grows in the cracks, i love how it towers over me, waving it’s beautiful bright yellow flowers at pollinators and herbalists.


the lungs of the earth, mullein has no problem growing in the crappiest of soil, all along the highways where we have totally wrecked the ecosystem.


i use mullein for lung ailments, for coughs and colds, for muscle pain, slipped discs, knee pain. it is part of an immune tonic to move the lymph. the flowers address pain and help to resolve infections. i make tincture and oil, a whole plant salve, i dry it for later use in tea and baths. it is a plant i would never want to be without it.


however,  mullein is not a toilet paper. survivalist blogs and misguided herbalists call it “cowboy toilet paper”.

“the leaves make a wonderful alternative to carrying toilet paper with you in the woods”-desert bloom herbals

“the leaves of grandfather mullein may be used as cowboy toilet paper”

“the leaves are so soft, thick and velvety that until the invention of toilet paper it was considered to be nature;s best wipe”-debi pearl

oh, really? mullein is a fabulous counterirritant. i love it for that purpose. but whenever i harvest mullein leaves i am covered in an irritating rash. it itches like crazy! have you ever used mullein as toilet paper? do you have a vulva? try it. if you are going to write about herbs,you should try them first. yes, if you have a bionic ass, mullein leaves make great toilet paper. maybe if you are a dude mullein is fine. i do not know. but mullein absolutely has the ability to irritate the living hell out of your vulva and urethra. it is in the top 3 worst toilet papers i know of! #1: poison ivy. #2, thistles. #3! mullein!

but don’t take my word for it. try it.maybe you’re into that kinda thing. fine.

3 thoughts on “mullein!

  1. LMAO! HAHA! Ok I have only just started reading and I am already in love and have bookmarked your page so I can come back and keep reading. I tis great to find humour, common sense and knowledge all in the same package. I love it!

  2. As a backpacker, I’ve relied on mullein MANY times (and yes, I have a vulva LOL) Some people are sensitive while others are not. I’m also very fortunate in that I have no allergy to poison ivy either. So yes, some women CAN use mullein as TP, but I very strongly suggest testing for sensitivity somewhere other than the vulva.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s