on the verge

perched at the edge of a new year, winter is quickly taking over, the sages and kales lone gren survivors outside. dreamtime, most difficult and unforgiving time of year for some, but a blessing in disguise. in our culture it  is difficult to respect the dreamtime, to turn off the expectations and obligations of the great machine and dreeeeeeeam. yet a vast and amazing reservoir of healing does exist. waiting for us to tap in like a maple tree, flowing with the xylem and phloem of life.

vitamin d deferred

i am on the verge. on the verge of a new year. on the verge of the subconscious. i used to think at any moment the stars would align and i’d finally be the awesome person i always wanted to be. i am not waiting anymore. i am doing.

verge-noun, an edge or border

an extreme limit beyond which something will happen

a grass edging

a wand or rod carried in front of a bishop or dean as an “emblem of office”

old french from latin-virga-rod

verge-verb-to incline in a certain direction

from latin vergere-to bend, incline

reaching

the verge is where i am often, but it is especially noticeable in the winter when quiet and cold take over, when many distractions have left town and i am left with myself. i have made my peace with the winter, and the edge, and how i incline in various directions. it is not to say that i’m not still longing-longing for paris, for  someone else to clean my house, to be 6 ft tall and willowy, for tropical fruits and piles of cash. but that is a tiny part of my life. i am also revelling. reveling in my dreams, my power, the subconscious, words and writing, music, food, loving my best friend lover, appreciating my kids and dog and my 4’11 not so willowy amazing body and odd mind. winter feels giving to me in an inward way, a way i hesitate to call magical but what other word can we use for the subconscious reservoir that exists for all of our daydream lucid extrasensory instinctual needs.

red.

the earth is still there for us. it does not need to be a juicy july fruitfest in order to feed us.  our whole self must be fed, mind, body and heart. the stuff we carry around can be sorted, the verge is a good time to choose what serves us and what does not. and dreams are a good way to decide.

metal

oh, and herbs. winter is a fine time for herbs. elder and linden tea. mugwort tincture. my favorite bedtime blend- little sugar dream nectar. rubbing on of pine salves, spruce tips tea and warming foot rubs. ah, baths and steams ! nettles chai-with ginger, fenel, cinnamon. liquers made with chestnuts and chipotles and satsumas and cinnamon sticks. and vanilla, lusty vanilla. all spring-summer-fall i planted and harvested and tinctured and dried…..and now i enjoy the luxuries. the joy of what i made. the partnership of human and plant world. ach, what luck! what gratitude!

ever green!!

nothing like the moment when the heart just cracks open and we are levelled with thankfulness and optimism in the midst of what could only be called a twisted and obscene world. so, my friends, i wish you all the most brilliant new year ever, and extend my love and care to all of you. happy happy new year, happy dreaming and happy herbing.

tree

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